Don’t know why i bother trying to open myself up to a girl when some fucking crackhead can make more progress with her in a night then i could in years, fuck it
So much has happened since i came to Perth. I’ve fallen in and out of love, fought depression, anxiety and suicide, became addicted to cigarettes, alcohol, weed, women, games and anything else that makes my money disapear. I’ve Found friends that mean the world to me, real friends, lost my virginity, became homeless, gotten into a fight, gone skinny-dipping, almost died, been arrested twice, been to countless party’s and essentially fucked up my school life. I have a vague plan for the future but it’s all happened a lot faster than i’d hoped it would, i’ve had my childhood robbed from me and been forced into making my own way in the world. I’m still depressed, i always feel a crushing sense of loneliness, even when surrounded by my best friends, nobody knows how i feel because i don’t like to whine, i hide my feeling behind a fake smile and a few too many shots. Despite that however, i also have happiness, i’m happy that there are some people who do care, i’m glad that i can still plan for the future and create real happiness in the future. So no, i’m not going to kill myslef, as much as i want to right now i know that i won’t be like this forever. Thank you for reading and to those who know me in real life, don’t ask me if i’m okay and don’t try to console me, it’s my shit to sort out and i’m sorting it just fine, i hope.